5 ways people-pleasing can negatively impact your life

1. Sacrificing Personal Well-being for Others’ Approval

Constantly seeking approval from others often leads to neglecting your own needs and well-being. Whether it’s skipping meals to accommodate others’ schedules or sacrificing sleep to meet deadlines set by someone else, people-pleasing can take a toll on your physical and mental health. Ignoring your own needs can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and even physical health problems over time.

2. Undermining Authenticity and Self-Expression

People-pleasers often suppress their true thoughts, feelings, and desires in order to avoid conflict or gain approval from others. This can lead to a loss of authenticity and self-expression as you prioritize conforming to others’ expectations over being true to yourself. Suppressing your authentic self can result in feelings of emptiness, disconnection, and a lack of fulfillment in life.

3. Enabling Toxic Relationships and Boundaries

Constantly saying “yes” to others’ requests, even when it goes against your own values or boundaries, can enable toxic relationships to thrive. People-pleasers may find themselves in one-sided or abusive relationships where their needs are consistently overlooked or dismissed. By prioritizing others’ needs over their own, people-pleasers inadvertently reinforce unhealthy dynamics and undermine their own sense of self-worth.

4. Hindering Personal Growth and Success

The fear of disappointing others or facing rejection can prevent people-pleasers from taking risks or pursuing their own goals and ambitions. This fear of failure or disapproval can hinder personal growth and prevent individuals from reaching their full potential. People-pleasers may settle for mediocrity or stay in unfulfilling situations simply to avoid rocking the boat or risking rejection from others.

5. Straining Mental and Emotional Resilience

Constantly striving to meet others’ expectations and seeking external validation can result in a fragile sense of self-worth and emotional resilience. People-pleasers may become overly sensitive to criticism or rejection, leading to increased stress, anxiety, and feelings of inadequacy. Over time, this can erode confidence and self-esteem, making it even more difficult to break free from the cycle of people-pleasing.

In summary, while the impulse to please others may stem from a desire for connection and approval, the long-term consequences of people-pleasing can be detrimental to your overall well-being and happiness. It’s important to recognize the ways in which people-pleasing may be hurting your life and take steps to prioritize your own needs, boundaries, and authenticity. By cultivating self-awareness and assertiveness, you can break free from the cycle of people-pleasing and build more fulfilling and authentic relationships both with others and yourself.

The Hidden Dangers of People-Pleasing: Why Putting Others First Can Cost You Everything

In a world that often celebrates selflessness and kindness, it’s easy to fall into the trap of people-pleasing. From a young age, many of us are taught that prioritizing the needs and desires of others is not only virtuous but essential for building strong relationships and earning approval. However, what begins as a well-intentioned effort to connect and empathize with others can quickly spiral into a pattern of self-neglect and resentment. In this blog post, we’ll explore the hidden dangers of people-pleasing and why prioritizing your own needs is crucial for your well-being.

The Perils of Perpetual Approval Seeking

At its core, people-pleasing is often rooted in a fear of rejection or disapproval. Whether it’s seeking validation from authority figures, conforming to societal norms, or trying to maintain harmony in relationships, the desire to please others can become all-consuming. Unfortunately, this relentless pursuit of approval can come at a steep cost to your mental and emotional health.

Constantly prioritizing the needs and desires of others over your own can erode your self-esteem and sense of identity. You may find yourself constantly second-guessing your own desires and beliefs, afraid to assert yourself for fear of rocking the boat. Over time, this can lead to a profound sense of emptiness and disconnection from your true self.

The Toll on Relationships

While people-pleasing may seem like a selfless act, it often breeds resentment and imbalance in relationships. When you prioritize the needs of others at the expense of your own, you may become a magnet for manipulative or narcissistic individuals who exploit your willingness to accommodate them. This can lead to a cycle of toxic relationships where your own needs are consistently overlooked and undervalued.

Furthermore, constantly saying “yes” to others can lead to overcommitment and burnout. You may find yourself stretched thin, juggling multiple responsibilities and obligations without ever taking the time to recharge and prioritize self-care. This not only affects your own well-being but can also strain your relationships with others as you become increasingly irritable and overwhelmed.

The Impact on Mental and Physical Health

The toll of people-pleasing isn’t just psychological—it can also have significant consequences for your physical health. Chronic stress and anxiety, often stemming from the pressure to meet the expectations of others, can manifest in a variety of symptoms including headaches, digestive issues, and sleep disturbances. Over time, this chronic stress can weaken your immune system and increase your risk of developing serious health conditions.

Moreover, the constant suppression of your own needs and desires can lead to feelings of resentment and anger, which can further exacerbate stress and contribute to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. In essence, people-pleasing isn’t just about sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of others—it’s about sacrificing your health and well-being as well.

Embracing Authenticity and Self-Care

So, what’s the solution? How can you break free from the cycle of people-pleasing and reclaim your autonomy and well-being? It starts with embracing authenticity and prioritizing self-care. This means learning to tune into your own needs and desires, even if it means risking disapproval or conflict from others.

It also means setting boundaries and learning to say “no” when necessary, even if it feels uncomfortable or difficult. Remember, you are not obligated to meet the expectations of others at the expense of your own happiness and well-being. True connection and fulfillment come from relationships built on mutual respect and understanding, not from constantly sacrificing yourself to please others.

In conclusion, while the impulse to please others may stem from a genuine desire for connection and approval, the long-term consequences of people-pleasing can be devastating. By prioritizing your own needs and embracing authenticity, you can break free from the cycle of people-pleasing and cultivate more fulfilling and authentic relationships both with others and yourself. Your happiness and well-being are worth it.

The Vital Role of Downtime: Why Taking a Break is Essential for Your Well-being

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life. With constant demands from work, family, and social obligations, it can feel like there’s never enough time to catch your breath. However, amidst the chaos, it’s important not to overlook the importance of downtime. In this blog post, we’ll explore why taking a break is essential for your well-being and how incorporating downtime into your routine can lead to greater happiness, productivity, and overall life satisfaction.

1. Rest and Recovery

Just as your body needs sleep to rest and recharge, your mind also requires downtime to recover from the stresses of daily life. Taking breaks allows your brain to switch off from work or other responsibilities, giving it the opportunity to rest and rejuvenate. Without adequate downtime, you may experience burnout, fatigue, and decreased cognitive function. By prioritizing rest and recovery, you’ll be better equipped to tackle challenges and approach tasks with renewed energy and focus.

2. Stress Reduction

Chronic stress has been linked to a host of health problems, including heart disease, depression, and anxiety. Taking regular breaks throughout the day can help reduce stress levels by providing moments of relaxation and relief from constant pressure. Whether it’s taking a short walk, practicing mindfulness, or indulging in a hobby you enjoy, downtime allows you to step away from stressors and reset your mind and body. Incorporating stress-reduction techniques into your routine can improve your mood, enhance resilience, and promote overall well-being.

3. Creativity and Innovation

Downtime isn’t just about resting and recuperating—it’s also an opportunity for creativity and innovation to flourish. When your mind is constantly occupied with tasks and deadlines, there’s little room for new ideas to emerge. However, by giving yourself permission to take a break and engage in activities that inspire and energize you, you open the door to fresh perspectives and creative insights. Whether it’s exploring nature, listening to music, or simply daydreaming, downtime stimulates the imagination and fosters innovation.

4. Enhanced Productivity and Performance

Contrary to popular belief, taking breaks doesn’t hinder productivity—it enhances it. Research has shown that regular breaks throughout the day can improve concentration, decision-making, and overall productivity. By giving your brain periodic rest periods, you prevent mental fatigue and maintain optimal cognitive function. Additionally, downtime allows you to return to tasks with renewed focus and clarity, leading to greater efficiency and performance in the long run.

5. Improved Quality of Life

Ultimately, the importance of downtime extends beyond its immediate benefits for productivity and well-being—it’s also about quality of life. Taking time to relax, recharge, and pursue activities that bring you joy and fulfillment is essential for your overall happiness and life satisfaction. Whether it’s spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, or simply enjoying moments of solitude, downtime allows you to connect with what truly matters and cultivate a sense of balance and fulfillment in your life.

In conclusion, downtime is not a luxury—it’s a necessity for your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. By prioritizing rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation, you’ll be better equipped to navigate life’s challenges with grace and resilience. So, take a break, unplug, and give yourself the gift of downtime. Your mind, body, and soul will thank you for it.

Understanding the Impact: How Childhood Trauma Shapes Your Life

Childhood is supposed to be a time of innocence, exploration, and growth. However, for many individuals, it can also be a time marked by adversity, pain, and trauma. Whether it’s experiencing abuse, neglect, or other forms of adversity, childhood trauma can have lasting effects that shape the course of one’s life. In this blog post, we’ll explore four ways in which childhood trauma can affect you and offer insights into how to navigate its impact.

1. Impact on Mental Health

One of the most significant ways childhood trauma can affect you is by impacting your mental health. Experiencing trauma during childhood can increase the risk of developing mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) later in life. The emotional wounds inflicted by childhood trauma can manifest in a variety of symptoms, including intrusive memories, flashbacks, nightmares, and difficulty regulating emotions. These symptoms can have a profound impact on your day-to-day functioning and overall well-being, making it essential to seek professional support and therapy to address and heal from childhood trauma.

2. Influence on Relationships

Childhood trauma can also affect your ability to form and maintain healthy relationships. Individuals who have experienced trauma may struggle with trust issues, intimacy issues, and difficulty establishing boundaries in relationships. They may fear abandonment or rejection and may resort to self-sabotaging behaviors to avoid getting hurt. Additionally, unresolved trauma from childhood can lead to patterns of codependency, where individuals seek validation and approval from others to fill the void left by early experiences of neglect or abuse. Healing from childhood trauma involves learning to build trust, communicate effectively, and establish healthy boundaries in relationships.

3. Impact on Self-Image and Identity

Childhood trauma can profoundly influence your sense of self-image and identity. Individuals who have experienced trauma may develop negative beliefs about themselves, such as feeling unworthy, unlovable, or fundamentally flawed. These negative core beliefs can shape how you view yourself and the world around you, leading to low self-esteem, self-doubt, and a persistent sense of shame or guilt. Healing from childhood trauma involves challenging these negative beliefs and learning to cultivate self-compassion, self-acceptance, and a more positive self-image.

4. Effects on Physical Health

The effects of childhood trauma extend beyond the realm of mental health and can also impact your physical well-being. Research has shown that individuals who have experienced trauma during childhood are at increased risk of developing physical health problems later in life, including chronic pain, autoimmune disorders, and cardiovascular disease. The stress and adversity experienced during childhood can dysregulate the body’s stress response systems, leading to long-term changes in immune function, inflammation, and overall health. It’s essential to prioritize self-care and adopt healthy coping mechanisms to mitigate the physical toll of childhood trauma on your body.

In conclusion, childhood trauma can have far-reaching effects that extend into adulthood and shape the course of your life in profound ways. However, it’s important to remember that healing is possible. By acknowledging the impact of childhood trauma, seeking support from trusted professionals, and engaging in self-care practices, you can begin the journey of healing and reclaiming your life from the shadows of the past. Remember, you are not defined by your trauma—you are resilient, capable, and deserving of love and healing.

Enhance your brain function naturally (dopamine, part 2)

This is part two of our conversation about dopamine (watch part one)

So, we already know how important dopamine is for our brains. Now, let’s talk in brief about some simple ways you can improve your brain function and emotional well-being naturally, by stimulating dopamine production:
1. Sleep 7 or more hours, preferably at the same time every night
2. Expose your eyes to bright light every morning (do not look straight into the light source) 3. Eat healthy, nutritious foods (we will discuss that in the future)
4. Meditate (meditation is proven to increase dopamine levels)
5. Exercise not only increases dopamine levels, but improves sensitivity to dopamine
6. Spend time in the nature
7. Brief cold exposure (cold shower, ice bucket, ice bath) has potent effects, similar to stimulant drug, but without negative side effects
8. Reduce the use of screens (they deplete your dopamine levels and reduce sensitivity to dopamine)
9. Avoid stress (dopamine is used in response to stress, which leads to reduced mental energy.
We will be discussing all these tips in detail in the future, so follow for more.

Be kind to yourself. And to others.


*Disclaimer:
All materials on this website are intended for educational purpose only and cannot replace medical or mental health expertise and services. Please consult your doctor/healthcare provider if you are seeking medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Feeling down? It could be lack of dopamine

If you feel unmotivated, unfocused, depressed, tired, have low libido or were diagnosed with ADHD, you might be dealing with low dopamine levels.

Neuroscientists teach us that dopamine is a precious substance in our brain that helps with focus, alertness, motivation, positive attitude, strong memory, creativity, willpower and stress response.

The good news is that you can improve that naturally and for free. We’ll talk about that in part 2 (coming soon!)

*All materials on this channel are intended for educational purpose only and cannot replace medical or mental health expertise and services. Please consult your doctor/healthcare provider if you are seeking medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

COVID advice from Chief Medical Officer

This is an important message from Chief Medical Officer, Assistant Clinical Professor in University of California, Irvine:

“…There are FOUR different bugs going around now plus the threat of Covid. Let’s look at each…
1. A bacterial infection is currently on the rise-sore throat, productive cough, fever, maybe sinus symptoms. If you are fit and healthy, it may wear itself out in 3-5 days. If you are very young or very old, frail, or sickly, it may lead to pneumonia or sepsis. An antibiotic is effective, and we may be able to swab for it, or do a blood test or xray to make an accurate diagnosis.
2. A viral syndrome with low grade fever, sneezing, cough, can be difficult to differentiate from a bacterial one at first. Even an experienced provider may need testing to tell the difference. It is usually less serious and runs its course over 2-3 days. Antibiotics do not work for a typical virus. We are seeing a fair number of these cases now, on par with this time of year.
3. NEITHER of these are the “flu”. Influenza is a totally separate animal. High fevers, aches, abdominal distress, dry cough, and feeling like you’ve been run over by a truck are common symptoms. It can be diagnosed via a swab in the office. There are special influenza antibiotics (eg Tamiflu) that help reduce the symptoms and duration. The “Flu” seems to have peaked and even gone in Orange County for 2020. In my personal practice we haven’t had a positive case since Feb 15th. The Health Department confirms we should see very few new flu cases in March.
4. Covid-19 begins as a typical viral illness- sneezing, coughing, low grade fever. But there are serious differences.
Fortunately, we have not had a lot of cases in Southern California–at least not officially diagnosed. But the virus can be spread for two weeks before symptoms appear. In that time, hundreds of people have been put at risk. It is spread by droplets, so simply being near an infected person can spread it if they cough or sneeze. And the 88,000 cases (as of this writing) is misleading since those are CONFIRMED cases. At least 10 times that number have occurred but just not tested for.
There is hope that as a cold weather bug, it will fade away with warmer weather. Yet it is still growing at over 1,000 cases a day being reported world wide; the same number as late January when it first appeared. If more kits were available, you can estimate how many new cases are actually occurring.
To hear an official say “we have this under control” is irresponsible. To hear people on social media say “There were more flu deaths, life goes on” is just idiotic. For one thing, the flu deaths were over an entire season. This pandemic has just begun.For another, would these same people take a vacation to beautiful downtown Baghdad? Stroll thru the streets of Sinaloa Mexico? Of course not because we know that is dangerous. Covid 19 should also be considered dangerous.
What is the difference between an epidemic and a pandemic? An epidemic refers to a condition spreading rapidly. A pandemic is an epidemic spreading throughout the world. We are now in a pandemic. The flu was not a pandemic.
As CMO, I am advising the following measures for our patients at least thru March:
1.If you are sick, don’t travel. In fact don’t leave the house if possible. Of course this is always common sense. But now you run the risk of being quarantined if it is considered possible you harbor Covid 19. Many countries are screening passengers for even low grade fever. Flight attendants are instructed to report anyone they feel is showing signs of infection. If you have a fever you will be detained. and not just sent home, but put in isolation.
2. If you are not sick, but very young, very old, frail, or sickly avoid ALL non-essential travel, or areas where crowds circulate. That means malls, theme parks, churches, even ball games. Going to a school or office may only expose you to dozens of close contacts. But a crowded day at Disney will expose you to THOUSANDS of people who may be incubating Covid.
If you are fit and relatively healthy, use common sense. Avoiding crowds and non essential travel may seem like overkill but it isn’t just about protecting you- its keeping an unknowing carrier from spreading the virus to thousands of uninfected people. We do not advise staying home from work or school, but if you can cancel that trip to Europe or postpone the day to Universal Studios, it will go a long way to stopping the spread and protecting yourself and your family.
3. If you do travel in March, realize there is a high chance of disrupted travel. You may be not allowed to leave your area or be house confined. Bring your own thermometer, your own cold meds, and an extra supply of your prescription meds in case you are stuck somewhere for weeks. Have documentation of your health insurance with you. Realize you may find tourist venues closed, events canceled, and long lines at areas where screening is going on.
4. Common sense dictates frequent hand washing. Remember the rule is to wash singing “Happy Birthday” to allow enough time to wash. If you are using hand sanitizers like Purell, five seconds is sufficient. Avoid touching other people if possible, maybe a thumbs up instead of shaking hands. Prepare your own meals as much as possible. If you must cough or sneeze in public, cover the face or turn away. Normal face masks are insufficient to block Covid–you’ll need to look for N 95 masks. But if your coughing enough to need the mask –STAY HOME! If you are wearing the mask to protect yourself its probably not necessary if you are fit and healthy.
5. If you feel you may have one of those three conditions at the beginning of this blog, DO NOT ignore it. Use house Calls or video visits to talk to your provider. If you feel you must come to the office, alert us so we can swab you or draw your blood in the comfort of your car. If you need to be seen in an exam room, you will be escorted thru the lobby if you alert us in advance. ALL respiratory type infections should be seen and worked up during this crucial time. Covid testing is done at the health dept.
IF World wide screening is effective
IF everyone follows these FIVE simple rules
IF Covid is a cold weather bug only
The pandemic will be history. Otherwise we may witness a pandemic unseen in our lifetimes.
Gregg DeNicola MD
Chief Medical Officer”

6 supplements that help fight viral infections

With COVID-19 being on the front pages, I would like to share about supplements that can help you protect yourself by boosting your immune system. This is just an abbreviated information sheet and is not intended to replace medical advice.
As always, you are encouraged to check with your physician and do your research to see how compatible these supplements are with your specific organism. Stay healthy!

1. VITAMIN C (Ascorbic acid)

Surely, the virtues of Vitamin C are familiar to most. It participates in a long list of vital functions of human organism. Its ability to fight free radicals prevent viral infections and inactivate viruses.
During an active infection, or inflammatory processes, Vitamin C is quickly depleted and the demand for it raises sharply. A daily dose of 1,000mg can be taken short-term, to help your body fight the infection. In a long run, too much Vitamin C may cause kidney stones.

2. QUERCETIN

Quercetin is a dietary flavonoid and more powerful antioxidant than vitamin C, vitamin E, or beta carotene. Benefits: reduces inflammation, blood pressure, and blood sugar levels. Beneficial in promoting brain health, protecting against allergies, and cancer. Fights the harmful free radicals (the environmental factors.)
Please note that Quercetin should not be taken for more than 3 months in a row, otherwise its accumulation can have a negative effect on your health.

Food sources: capers, red onions, peppers, broccoli, asparagus, apples, citrus fruits, berries, cherries, grapes, black tea, green tea, red wine, and some fruit juices.

SUPPLEMENTAL QUERCETINE: Most healthy individuals will benefit from taking 500mg of Quercetin daily to reduce environmental effects. The most bioavailable form is Quercetin dihydrate, however it’s still not very easy to metabolize. Niacin (vitamin B3, availabie in most multi-vitamins) has been known to improve the absorption of Quercetin.


3. VITAMIN D3 (Cholecalciferol)

A steroid hormone, essential to survival. Most people, even in California, are deficient. Benefits: reduces risk of cardiovascular disease, multiple sclerosis, cancer, depression, as well as flu, viral infections and pneumonia. It also promotes weight loss and reduces appetite.

Natural sources: sunlight.
Food sources are few: salmon, sardines, egg yolk, shrimp, milk (fortified), cereal (fortified), yogurt (fortified), orange juice (fortified)

SUPPLEMENTAL VITAMIN D3: the FDA recommends 600-800IU. A typically prescribed daily dose is 25mcg (1,000IU.)
(!) However, please note that vitamin D increases demand for vitamin K2. Otherwise, calcium will be leached out of bones and eventually deposited on the artery walls threatening with strokes and heart attacks.
K2 has to be taken along with D3, at a ratio of about 1/4-1/8 (for every 25mcg of Vit D3 take 100-200mcg Vit K2.)

4. OREGANO OIL

Oil of Oregano is a natural antibiotic, antioxidant, analgesic (pain-relieving), anti-inflammatory and anti-cancer. Oregano oil has been shown to inhibit viruses and bacteria in vitro. May reduce pain and LDL cholesterol levels.

Food sources: oregano is a flavorful herb that can enhance the taste and add variety to your meals. However, small amounts we typically use in cooking, will not make a big difference in your health.

SUPPLEMENTAL OREGANO OIL: is available in tincture, essential oil or capsules. I recommend capsules, since this oil itself is very spicy and can burning your esophagus. Optimal dosage is not determined. A dose of 1,500mg a day is considered generaly safe. However, it is counter-indicated to pregnant and lactating women.
When taking Oregano oil, make sure to take at least a 7 day break after every three weeks of use.

You can also use this oil for inhalations, to treat upper respiratory illnesses.

5. VITAMIN B1 (Thiamine)

Thiamine can reduce duration and severity of viral infections. It lowers triglycerides and balances LDL and HDL cholesterol. May prevent heart disease, boosts brain function, improves skin function, reduces arthritis.

Food sources: beef, liver, dried milk, nuts, oats, oranges, pork, eggs, seeds, legumes, peas and yeast. The following foods can be fortified with B1: rice, pasta, breads, cereals and wheat flour.

SUPPLEMENTAL: available in most multivitamins

Tamara Eristavi is a wellness coach, based in Irvine, Califorina.

Disclaimer:
All materials on this website are intended for educational purpose only and cannot replace medical or mental health expertise and services. Please consult your doctor/healthcare provider if you are seeking medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

fight viruses naturally

I would like to share some tips that can help you you stay happy and healthy during this flu season. Whereas these suggestions will not guarantee protection from getting sick, they will help improve your health and strengthen your immune system.

– wash or sanitize your hands often and don’t touch your eyes, mouth or nose with unwashed hands
– breathe only through your nose
– do your best to reduce stress and stay positive 😊
– get PLENTY OF SLEEP on a regular basis
– gargle your throat a few times a day (you can add tea tree oil or echinacea)
– exercise moderately on a daily basis (heavy workouts lower your immunity) and make sure you break a sweat
– take hot showers daily (raising body temp kills viruses) with a contrast shower in the end (contrast shower boosts immune system)
– you can try coating the inside of your nose with coconut oil to prevent virus from landing on the mucous membrane

NUTRITION:
– stay hydrated
– try intermittent fasting (it resets the immune system)
– avoid sugars and processed foods
– lots of fresh foods, including ginger, onions, lemons
– lots of garlic (it’s effective raw and cooked, but not over 140F)
– honey, especially Manuka
– bee pollen (begin with very small amounts, to avoid an allergic reaction)
– Natural immunomodulators like Lauricidin, Rhodiola Rosea and Ginseng
– vitamins, especially C and D
– probiotics
– teas: green, ginger, echinacea, herbal immune support and detoxing combinations

Stay healthy! Protect yourself and those around you ❤

Warmly,
Coach T.

Tamara Eristavi is a wellness coach, based in Irvine, Califorina.


Disclaimer:
All materials on this website are intended for educational purpose only and cannot replace medical or mental health expertise and services. Please consult your doctor/healthcare provider if you are seeking medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment.